Trying To Understand It All

First of all, NYCC was terrific! It was the plastic band-aid I needed over the gaping wound that festers and threatens to turn gangrenous any moment that is my life.  Last Tuesday, I interviewed, shadowed and was offered a position working at a cardiology office in Norwich as a medical assistant.  So, I packed up for New York with the elation that I would have a full time position doing something that I love starting Monday.  This all came crashing down on Thursday when the office manager called and stated that due to a new budget that was given to her that morning they were no longer able to offer me the position.  To say that I was disappointed was a gross understatement, however; I didn't let it ruin my weekend.  I met some really cool people and despite the fact that there were thousands of people at the convention, everyone was very polite.  I just wish I could continue to have that feeling of purpose because I woke up this morning with the stark reality of how dire my situation is.  I'm more tired and depressed than ever and questioning my motives for every decision I have made in my life.   I just don't understand why things aren't turning around for me and the worst thing anyone could say to me at this moment is, "You have the worst luck." Well, thank you for reminding me just how messed up my life is!  I know people mean well with their sentiments but this is one they can please keep to themselves.