Trying To Understand It All

First of all, NYCC was terrific! It was the plastic band-aid I needed over the gaping wound that festers and threatens to turn gangrenous any moment that is my life.  Last Tuesday, I interviewed, shadowed and was offered a position working at a cardiology office in Norwich as a medical assistant.  So, I packed up for New York with the elation that I would have a full time position doing something that I love starting Monday.  This all came crashing down on Thursday when the office manager called and stated that due to a new budget that was given to her that morning they were no longer able to offer me the position.  To say that I was disappointed was a gross understatement, however; I didn't let it ruin my weekend.  I met some really cool people and despite the fact that there were thousands of people at the convention, everyone was very polite.  I just wish I could continue to have that feeling of purpose because I woke up this morning with the stark reality of how dire my situation is.  I'm more tired and depressed than ever and questioning my motives for every decision I have made in my life.   I just don't understand why things aren't turning around for me and the worst thing anyone could say to me at this moment is, "You have the worst luck." Well, thank you for reminding me just how messed up my life is!  I know people mean well with their sentiments but this is one they can please keep to themselves.

Feeling Better Despite The Rainy Day

Not going to write a long post like the last few but I wanted to note that I feel more positive even though things haven't really changed.  I'm tired from the kids not being on the same sleep schedule last night and went to bed late last night.  I was scheduled to work a Red Cross blood drive at Plainville High School and it reminded me of "the good ol' days" of high school; or maybe how I want to remember them. Either way, sitting around with a bunch of 17-year-old laughing and joking didn't make me feel old; it made me feel good that I was able to not only make someone laugh, but they did the same for me.

I'm looking forward to volunteering at NYCC next weekend and managed to get some more hours added to my schedule which is SWEET!  I'm working two areas: Panels Hall A and Artists Alley!  One of the guys got an apartment and I'm looking to bunk with them, otherwise I'm going to take the train back and forth with Patrick.  I should probably make a list of the things I want to pack so I don't forget anything.